Challenging Harmful Misconceptions with Facts
“When we focus on the truth instead of repeating the myths, we create space for people to finally understand what really happened to them,” says Sheilagh Mescal Gunstensen, BScN, MA, Training Specialist at Younity.
Sexual violence is surrounded by misinformation. Over time, those misunderstandings can shape how communities respond, how systems function, and how victim-survivors see themselves.
During Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we are focusing on facts — because understanding what research tells us helps reduce stigma, challenge long-held misconceptions, and ensure that victim-survivors receive the support they deserve.
Here is what everyone should know:
Most Sexual Assault Is Committed by Someone Known to the Victim-Survivor
More than 80% of sexual assaults are committed by an acquaintance, partner, family member, or someone within the victim-survivor’s social circle.
Sexual violence is rarely a stranger jumping out of the bushes. It often happens in familiar spaces — homes, dorm rooms, social gatherings — which can make reporting feel complicated and even unsafe.
When the person who caused harm is part of your family, friend group, school, or workplace, coming forward can feel like risking everything. Because of this reality, disclosure can feel especially unsafe.
When the Person Who Harmed You Is Someone You Know, Disclosure Can Feel Unsafe
For many victim-survivors, disclosure can feel complicated and even dangerous.
Victim-survivors may fear being blamed, losing relationships, facing retaliation, or being isolated by family or peers. In some cases, the person who caused harm holds social power, authority, or influence, which can increase the pressure to stay silent.
This is one reason many victim-survivors delay reporting — or choose not to report at all.
The Vast Majority of Victim-Survivors Tell the Truth
Research consistently shows that false reports are rare. Studies place the rate of false reporting between approximately 2–8%, meaning that more than 90% — and in many analyses, more than 97% — of reports are truthful.
Local prosecutors estimate the truthfulness rate even higher.
When someone shares that they have been sexually assaulted, the most statistically accurate response is to believe them.
Sexual Assault Is About Power and Control, Not Desire
Sex is consensual and mutual. Sexual assault is not.
Sexual violence is about power, control, coercion, and entitlement. It can occur in any type of relationship, including relationships where consensual sex has happened before.
Consent must be present every time. Past intimacy does not equal future permission.
Giving in out of fear, pressure, intimidation, or emotional manipulation is not consent.
Freezing Is a Common Trauma Response
When someone experiences a sexual attack, their brain shifts into survival mode. The nervous system may trigger fight, flight, or freeze.
Many victim-survivors freeze.
Freezing is not agreement. It is not permission. It is a protective biological response seen across species when someone feels overwhelmed or endangered.
This trauma response can also affect how memories are stored. Core details of the assault are often clear, but peripheral details — such as the color of walls or the sequence of minor events — may not be. This does not mean the assault did not happen. It reflects how the brain prioritizes survival.
Lack of Physical Injury Does Not Mean Lack of Harm
Not all sexual assaults leave visible injuries.
A person may have no bruises, no torn clothing, and no outward signs of struggle. That does not diminish the emotional, psychological, or physical trauma experienced.
Sexual violence can cause profound and lasting harm, even when it is not immediately visible.
Men and Boys Experience Sexual Violence Too
While women and girls experience sexual violence at higher rates, men and boys are also affected.
Research estimates that approximately one in six men will experience sexual violence in their lifetime.
Many male victim-survivors delay disclosure for years because they were never given language or permission to talk about what happened. Others fear stigma, shame, or not being believed.
Support is available for everyone, regardless of gender.
Convictions Are Rare
Sexual assault cases are among the most difficult to prosecute. Conviction rates are often below 10%.
The legal process can feel overwhelming and retraumatizing. This reality sometimes discourages victim-survivors from pursuing criminal charges.
This is one reason having an advocate in your corner can make such a critical difference.
Support Is Available: You Do Not Have to Go Through This Alone
Younity provides free, confidential services for anyone impacted by sexual violence.
Our services include:
- 24/7 hotline support
- Hospital accompaniment by a trained advocate
- Support at the police station, if reporting is chosen
- Ongoing counseling services
- Safety planning
- Assistance navigating protection orders
For individuals assaulted by someone who is not a domestic partner, New Jersey offers protection under the Victim’s Assistance and Survivor Protection Act (VASPA). This civil restraining order process can prohibit contact, harassment, stalking, or intimidation without requiring a criminal charge.
You can also:
- Receive a forensic exam within seven days, even if you are unsure about reporting
- Access medication to prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections
- Speak with an advocate before deciding next steps
There is no statute of limitations on sexual assault in New Jersey.
Whether the assault happened recently or years ago, support is available.
It Was Never Your Fault
Victim-survivors often carry self-blame for years.
“You can almost see the shift when someone realizes it was never their fault,” says Sheilagh Mescal Gunstensen, BScN, MA, Training Specialist at Younity. “Facts matter — because they help undo years of silence and self-blame.”
Sexual violence is always the responsibility of the person who chooses to cause harm.
Clothing does not cause assault. Flirting does not cause assault. Drinking does not cause assault. Being in a relationship does not cause assault.
If consent was not freely given, it was not consensual.
If you or someone you know needs support,
call Younity’s 24/7 hotline.
You deserve to be believed.
You deserve to feel safe.
You deserve support.
